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The Written Word, Features, Analyzing Albert

Analyzing Albert part 5

No Comments 06 October 2011

After a half hour I realized that my attempts at snoozing were futile so I decided to take a peak in the suitcase. Besides, I really didn’t have anything better to do. As I flipped the case open it was like a million kisses from angels fluttered on my face. The case smelled so good and was flawlessly organized. Shoes perfectly polished to the point where the glint of the light ricocheting off the shoe made me squint. The underwear and undershirts were perfectly folded into 4×4 squares neatly arranged by pair. To the left were the shirts. They were the most beautiful button down shirts I have ever seen. Majestic. It was obvious the gentleman that owned this case was a cut above the rest because these shirts weren’t just ripped from the closet. They were carefully taken out of their dry-cleaned boxes and arranged with the cardboard still holding the creases and a razor-sharp collar. The ties lay underneath the shirts tightly wrapped in tissue. The colors of the ties were so vibrant they made me sweat just holding them.  I had never seen clothes like this in real life, I had only read about them in the Sears catalogue.

The tragic memories of the fall were further away than God. I flipped on my clock radio and began to dress in the underwear, socks and shirts. Dion and the Belmonts serenaded me as I danced around the room. I kept posing in the mirror with different tie and shirt combinations. The only problem was I had only officially tied a tie once and it was back in my childhood so I could hardly remember the procedure. I decided clothes this beautiful deserved a proper full Windsor so I sat down next to the case and was determined to spend however long until I remembered how to do it.

As I sat there, jostling my neck and head back and forth I noticed that the case still had a fairly large bulge on the top flap. I couldn’t comprehend what could possibly make this day any better and as I fumbled with the zipper my mind was racing about a million thoughts per second.

The suit was radiating. I’m not sure if it was the late afternoon sun peering through my window, the silk undies against my privates or just my own euphoria but the suit was glowing. I sat there for what seemed like hours just admiring the craftsmanship. I almost didn’t want to put it on but how could I resist? I managed to put a mediocre knot in my tie and decided I would figure that part out later. I slipped into the pants and jacket and sauntered across the room to the mirror. Frankie Valli’s “Donna” came on the radio.

As soon as I looked into the mirror I was stunned. Honestly I almost forgot I was looking at myself. I really did.  For the first time in my life I was completely happy with the man looking back at me. Not only happy but impressed! I felt invincible in that suit. Everything just felt right and I began to waltz around my room listening to the chorus. As I danced around I realized that I wished grey suit girl was in my arms. Then I got sad. But as I turned around I caught another glimpse of myself in the mirror and realized that I was a handsome devil. I was sure all I had to do was show up at the coffee shop tomorrow and show off my new look and she would fawn all over me.

At that moment I decided I didn’t want to go to the airport anymore. I didn’t want to change from person to person week to week. I was finally happy and comfortable. I spent the rest of the day cleaning the house then went to bed early so I could get a good night’s sleep to look my best. It had been a long time since I went to bed looking forward to the next day.

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