Shades of Gray

The Shade’s Top 10 Things We’re NOT Giving Up For Lent

0 Comments 06 March 2014


Around here at The Shade HQ we don’t believe in many things. One thing we sure don’t believe in is self denial. What’s the point? So what if you eat the last pringle? So what if you lay on the couch all day when it’s sunny and warm outside? Oh, I know, you might jeopardize your chance at eternal bliss.

Piss on that. The looming Lent season is about self denial and atonement. Well…sorry I’m not sorry! Thanks to The Shade’s 2014 Regrets & Inspiration calendar I’ve been killing it this year. And I’ve got news for you – we’re not giving up nathan for the Lent season. Squat. We prefer to let the Mardi Gras season run through Memorial Day.

As we see ourselves of beacons of good example we decided to share with you the Top 10 Things We’re NOT Giving up for Lent.

10. Thousand Island Salad Dressing – It just feels good to be so bad no?

9. Not holding doors open – Honestly, I don’t give a crap how easy it is for you to get in (or out) of this building. You’re on your own.

8. Blaming farts on the dog – One of the most ingenious and versatile inventions man has come up with.

7. Talking behind people’s back – It helps you feel great and lose the weight!

6. Virgin daiquiris – No way, not now, not ever. Absolutely NOT.

5. Toeing the line between right and wrong to see what we can get away with.

4. Lisps – they’re like the alligators of speech evolution (and really fun at parties!)

3. Acting irreverent to seemingly important things like organized religion.

2. Our desire to wade in a lukewarm cesspool of mediocrity

1. Liberally doling out dirty looks to small children – If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. Small children represent everything thats wrong with America. They have no job, no ambition, produce nothing but crap, can’t support themselves and expect to be catered to.

I’ll see u at Easter! buy my lint filled Cadbury eggs! Suckers!!

- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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