Shades of Gray

The Sports Wrap – lettuce, tomato, swiss, BROOMBALL, BROOMBALL and topped w/ BROOMBALL. Comes with fries. Substitute sweet potato fries $1.50

0 Comments 14 February 2014


It was a cool mid winters morning in the middle of winter and the broomball season is nearing it’s climax.  As always the round-robin tournament is held in Bethlehem, CT.  Teams from all over the country are descending upon this small town and with last year’s Golden Broom recipient for MVP (and broomball legend) Reins “Puff The Magic Dragon” Hagglemayer running the center of the park they again look like the favorites for the Silver Bowl.

As Hagglemayer’s Team Yellow was taking the ice he was nowhere to be found.  The pregame crap was running a bit long due to a great article in Better Home and Garden about preparing geraniums for a winter harvest.  You’ve got to know how get the best out of your ‘Puritan Whites’.

“Puff” makes his way onto the ice surface with his team down a pair.  So what’s the first thing he does?  Puts a rocket glove side where mama hides the cookies, top shelf.  A rugged confidence swarmed Team Yellow after that goal and the buzzer beater to tie the opening game proved to be the emotional lift needed as they glided to victory in the next 2 matches.

After a successful group campaign Team Yellow hit the semifinals pinned against a hard hitting Team Blue that had a stalwart defense but their attack left much to be desired.  With some tremendous back – checking and quick transitions “Puff” commanded Yellow out to an early 3 goal lead.  Blue was able to claw back a couple of goals but the game ended comfortably for Yellow at 4-2.  However the victory came with an enormous cost.  Late in the frame Lord “Rabid Bunny” Dermott was diagnosed by the tournament stylist as having split ends.  There is no way the Rabid Bunny can come back from this for the final, no matter how much Pantene Pro-V he happens to have.

Well here it is, Red vs Yellow.  It’s just as the Vegas odds makers predicted.  Red has made some key off-season acquisitions, has a few first liners returning from injury, has the veteran Crow brothers and the hometown advantage.  Yellow has Hagglemayer, a gritty defense, a shaky goalie and a prayer.  The horn sounded for the start of the game and the Red juggernaut couldn’t be denied.  The hometown team had their compete level through the roof and they were keeping to the scouting report on Yellow’s goaltender.  Go 5 hole…All the time, clean 5 hole.  That guy’s got the kind of open door policy that would make even a seasoned prostitute blush.

The game ended with Red on top by a 7-3 count.  Their movement, determination,  skill and heart was something special to behold.  The younger Crow was given, nah, earned the Golden Broom.  His leadership was humbling to observe.  He had his team on the same page when it mattered most…Blah, blah, blah.  Hey Crow, I want my fucking Broom back!


- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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