The Written Word, Short Stories

Brilliant Futulity: I’m Sorry I Entered You

0 Comments 17 January 2013

Part I

The world had become a pretty crappy place to live by the year 2083. The environment went to shit, natural resources…done and countries squabbled – like kids trying to claim their territory in a sandbox – over who was to lead this sinking ship. You should have seen it, all the major players were there: China, France, Germany, England, Brazil, Japan, India and the like. They even gave those pompous asshole Americans a seat at the table. Right around the beginning of the 21st century there was a small ripple of reasonable thought that blipped across the planet. Sort of like a fart building up when you’re laying in bed at night. You can feel it building and building. Many strange noises pop up. As your innards are for release all the tension escalates and when the moment comes for the big release its just a tiny squeak and then an awful smell. Thats kind of what happened here.

There were a few really smart people that saw the environment collapsing. So they nagged ‘the guys’ in charge enough to get a little attention. To pacify these bleeding hearts Those In Charge passed a few laws and gave them a little money to play with. There was this whole ‘going green’ initiative that helped to get things like hybrid cars and whatnot. Things went pretty well for awhile. Even though the environment had been getting beaten like a red-headed step child for so long things actually started to get a little better. People were pretty happy with themselves and the back-patting ensued.

‘Hey, great job passing that bill Phil! Way to give back to the planet!’
‘Say, thanks Porter. You know its really great to see government working for the people. It seems like we’ve really got things figured out’
‘Yea, you’re right. I think we’re all winners’
’Great job!’
‘Yea, you too, great job!’

Complacency sank in like a tea bag then the shit really hit the fan. The money ran out and people realized they were screwed. In the preceding 15-20 years that same group of smart people that warned about the failing environment warned about the economy. People in charge figured they gave those jerks enough with the environmental stuff and, besides, what did they know about the economy anyways? Either way, despite the warnings the collapse came as a shock to most people around the planet.

There was a lot of finger pointing and people tried to skirt the blame. Instead of trying to fix the problem, all the countries were so stubborn they just wanted to convince everyone else that it wasn’t their fault. It became ‘the’ thing to do. To make matters worse nobody wanted to talk about the problem. Whenever the countries met, everyone got gussied up and did their best to show that they were doing fine. As time went by things got consistently more bleak. Weaknesses started to show.

People got hungry which made them angry. At first people tried to gang up on China. It didn’t matter though because eventually China chose sides and made some friends but made even more enemies. America wasn’t one of the friends so they decided to screw the pooch and said ‘fuck it’ and started World War III. It was good for business! Alliances blurred and people got really confused then things REALLY went south. Everyone was fighting everyone else.

Stay tuned for Part II

- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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