Features, Ask Norman

A Brand New Dear Norman!

0 Comments 19 October 2012

Dear Norm,

What is it with you? I’ve been scouring your old columns, and there’s almost nothing about a person’s grief when an animal dies!

Our poodle – Rudi – died in July. He was 14, and I can’t remember when I’ve ever felt this distressed. I couldn’t eat and hardly slept. And if you think my BMs were normal, think again.

My partner feels much the same, even though Rudi was my dog initially and I essentially brought him into the “marriage.”

For eight years, before I met the man I now live with, that dog was my best friend, my confidant, my pal. There wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for me. He woke me in the morning so I wouldn’t be late for work. He waited for me — sometimes all night if I was having a real good time — patiently by the door. And you know what else? He never judged. Not once.

I will never find anyone as faithful and good as Rudi was. I think you should acknowledge the relationship between pets and their so-called “owners” in your nice program that I enjoy so much.

Still Suffering in Sacramento



While I try to touch on many different things in my missives I will, of course, not hit on everything. If you’re expecting an apology you’d be better served finding some fiber to address your aforementioned BM concerns. But on to your problem.

I myself am an animal lover. When I was a boy I was awarded a baby ferret as a first place prize in an amatuer boxing competition. I won’t soon forget the hours we spent on the chaise. He laying on my chest, staring longingly in my eyes, coo’ing the way he did in the upper register of his larynx.

But that was ages ago. Since then I’ve had many different moments with many different creatures. And I’m the better for it. Diversity in the generation of love will only serve to deepen your understanding of the primordial.

Now get on with it boy. Get on with it!


- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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