Mr. Miserable’s Friday Sound Off!

0 Comments 04 May 2012

Dear Do Gooders,

Make no doubt about it alot of things have changed in the past few years due to technology. Some good – higher quality movies, video games in the palm of your hand and the ability to quickly look up some awesome ways to blow shit up. But there’s also been some bad. For example cameras everywhere, death of mom and pop retailers, and the ability for every schmuck to be anonymously invasive in your person shit.

But there’s an elephant in the room that all you twerps are crazy about and its driving me batshit insane. In particular lazy, self absorbed, overweight women (and I guess men for that matter as well).

With the invention of social media in the likes of twitter and facebook there has evolved this self righteous concept that your online persona is as important as your mediocre life in the real world.  People spend countless hours posting about all the cool places they go to – never the shitty ones. They spend countless hours pouring over pictures to make sure their showing ‘their public’ the best possible way they look doing the absolute coolest thing they’ve ever done. Look at me! I’m super cool, don’t you wanna hang out with me or – even better – be me?! We call this curating the exhibit of the self. Its disgusting. As Michael Franti once posited “Nobody wants to sing a bit out of tune or be the backbone of a rebel platoon”.

Instead of spending unspeakable hours a day updating your status and uploading photos from the baptism of your 3rd cousin’s first newborn try stepping on a treadmill for half that time. Maybe go out and talk to somebody. A stranger! Start making some friends that you will actually see in person more than once every five years. But hey who am I to talk I still only have a myspace…

Like this if your an asshole!

And while we’re at it, here’s what’s on my shit list this week:

  1. Vikings in the Capital One commercials. Really we haven’t progressed since then? Keep Alec, ditch those goddam Vikings.
  2. Australians
  3. Going sockless. If you’re going to do so make sure you’re feet aren’t gross
  4. People complaining about the weather. Yes, its raining. We know. Get over it.
  5. Smiling. If I wanted more in my life I’d do it myself.
  6. All of you

Carry on,

Mr Miserable


- who has written 8 posts on The Shade.

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