Shades of Gray

Bird of Prey Showcase – The Larry Bird

1 Comment 27 April 2012

One of the most unique and largest birds of prey found in North America is the Larry Bird.  They can typically grow to 6 feet 9 inches and weigh about 220 pounds.  Their breeding grounds are typically in the mid-West region of the United States, more centrally located in southern Indiana.

From early on in their lives Larry Birds are known to hone their craft in hunting down and exposing the weaknesses, both known and learned of their enemies.  It may seem like fun and games but Larry Birds take their hunting prowess very seriously.

In their late adolescents they leave the nest and go out on their own usually returning after one year.  They then spend one more year fine tuning technique and head off into the world.  The process of leaving is referred to in most circles as the “Draft.”  The pattern most Larry’s follow is towards the Eastern seaboard and settling in quaint towns and cities, most notably Boston, MA.

Once Larry’s settle down in southern New England they will battle to maintain their “home” territory about 41 times year* and even travel vast lengths of the United States in hopes of striking down enemies and expanding their territory or gaining “Championships,” as some people call it.

The most known and volatile enemy of the Larry is a flashy and colorful beast known as a Laker.  Sometimes these formidable foes will seemingly fight to the death just to dust off and try it all again the next year.  After a long and grueling year that sometimes sees these graceful birds wounded or “on the sidelines” they go back to the nest to recover for a few months in the hopes they will be ready to head back east by mid fall.

In the latter stages of a Larry’s hunting life they will get a bunch of their friends together and head to Barcelona for the summer where their techniques and skill will be showcased one last time in a trouncing of the entire world.  This is the only known time in either of their lives when a Laker and a Larry are known to work together.

If you have any desire to learn more about the Larry Bird check out such films as Blue Chips or Space Jam where their exploits are clearly identified.

*raising that number usually means it’s been a good year for the Larry

Thanks for your time,

Timothy Warshevsky

Professional Conversationalist

- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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1 comment

  1. Mr. Miserable says:

    I don’t mean to be a stickler but I don’t think Larry wore black shoes. Just sayin….

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