Tag archive for "Top Ten"

Top Ten

The Shade’s Top Ten Things We’re Currently Loving

No Comments 29 March 2013

Enthusiasts,

Ok, so we went a little negative with last week’s Top 10 list. How can you blame us? Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing and it bums the shit out of us too. Last Tuesday I tripped over a frozen ice/snow mound on my walk to the bus and broke down in tears. A mess.

Moving on, we here at The Shade believe in a balanced approach to all things – which is why we, sometimes, eat our Rice Krispies with chocolate milk and never – EVER – condone malicious use of a cream puff.

It’s Spring Time! A time when we all shed the decay that’s been accumulating for the past several months and sprout anew. Its time to celebrate!  So, we wanted to highlight the things that are currently blowing our metaphorical skirts up.

Get yourself a raspberry lime rickey, kick off those weary dismals and help celebrate Spring’s bloom with The Shades Top 10 Things We’re Loving Currently.

 

10. Spicy buffalo style wheat thins – All you have to do is try them. Seriously.

9. Yoga pants – Seemingly ubiquitous these days they’re tough to NOT see .  It’s not that we stopped liking them but for some reason it seems to us that the Yoga Pant technology is increasing at a rapid rate.

8. Original Skittles – Spring time just seems like the right time to Taste the Rainbow

7. Sitting on a warm toilet seat – What’s better than sitting on a warm toilet seat after you’ve dragged yourself out of bed for a midnight #2 in a freezing cold house?

6. TV tag – Surprisingly fun to revisit. Now that you’re older your repertoire of TV shows will astound you when you dig in. And, you get winded easier so having that deeper knowledge will help YOUR tush not become ‘it’

5. Anything involving Dennis Rodman – We currently are not sure what the hell he has been up to but we are currently thinking he has his eyes set on World Domination. And that is fine with us

4. Arena rock (Pre – 2000) – AC/DC, Aerosmith & Black Sabbath…Yes! Fall Out Boy, The Killers & Animal Collective…Bad!

3. The Match Game reruns (specifically episodes with Charles Nelson Reilly). CNR never ceases to amaze us. Sharp, Quick, and always there when you need a laugh

2. New Socks – After a tough winter there is nothing like going out to Marshall’s and picking up a 12 pack of socks. Like little pillows for your feet and it is always fun to wash out those little cotton bugs from between your toes.

1. Songs that tell a story – See next weeks top ten but and if you have a favorite please send our way.  There is just something about being taken on a journey through song.  At the end of the day it may be The United States best export for over 50 years.  Current working list here: http://t.co/BRcax4pNFQ

 

 

Features, Top Ten

Top Ten List of Things We’re Sick Of Currently

No Comments 22 March 2013

Enthusiasts,

Like you, we here at The Shade spend a disproportionate amount of our time thinking about how much stuff pisses us off. It adds depth and meaning to our existence. As the venerable Sigmund Freud once said “One feels inclined to say that the intention that man should be happy is not included in the plan of Creation. So wipe that puss off your face and fill my cocaine jar chop chop!”

As a token of our solidarity in wading through a pool of communal suffering we wanted to share with you the Top 10 Things That We’re Sick Of Currently. Perhaps we can give you some new things to gripe about but at the very least – hopefully – this can be another addition to your current list.

10. The Weather – especially business calls with people who insist on starting the conversation by discussing the different weather outside their fucking window at this time. And please stop complaining that its the first day of spring but it’s still cold outside.

9. Lena Dunham – I don’t know where you came from but go back there.

8. People who say they have no time to do x,y, or z – You’re not that important and neither is your life or anyone around you. So, ease up and eat a cinnamon scone from time to time.

7. PETA – Animals are going to die in crappy ways and so are humans. Let’s move on.

6. Vanity License Plates – See explanation for # 8

5. Turbulence – Come on science. Can’t you simply tell the plane when it is coming and gear up the shocks. That shit scares the bejesus out of us.

4. Dave Grohl – This upsets me but if we’re being honest….it’s true. Mark my words, in time we will all will be sick of him.

3. SXSW – This is what’s wrong with humans in general…we can’t leave well enough alone. At it’s inception it was a nice little music festival that showcased some new bands. Now it’s basically an industry complete with a massive tech conference the week before with shitbrain wanna be entrepreneurs running around like they just spilled hot coffee on their khakis.

2. Jimmy Fallon – Am I wrong or was he just never funny? In a few ways replacing Jay Leno with him seems so appropriate. Both were never, ever funny and kind of have this sniveling demeanor which, evidently, people find endearing.  Why not  just pair up Jimmy and Lena and send them on a never ending comedy tour to North Korea as a gesture of international relations?

1. Police Ticketing Quotas – If you need to meet a goal by creating a problem then you are the problem.

Music, Top Ten

Top Ten Songs over 10 minutes

No Comments 01 February 2013

Enthusiasts,

As would be purveyors of righteousness we like to have an eye toward the future while being rooted in our past. As Ziggy Marley posits in his hit single Tomorrow People “If ya don’t know ya past, ya don’t know ya future”

We like the internet. We were pioneers of virtual reality back in the early 90s. But we also like leather bound books and extended periods of time in remote cabins with nothing but our wits and a 10 lbs bag of rice for sustenance.

We’re troubled at the lack of attention span with today’s youth. With the deluge of external stimuli easily accessible these days its not hard to understand why. So, with this edition of The Shade’s Top 10 we want to give our readers a reason to sit down for a spell, slow down and just relax. Without further adieu we bring to you The Shade’s Top 10 List of Songs Over 10 Minutes

10. Mozart – String Quartet No. 16 in E flat major: Exquisite and mind bending. Give it a good listen and you just might learn something.

9. Genesis – Supper’s Ready: Phil was really jelling with the rest of the boys during this period which was history suggests was their most tumultuous

8. Pink Floyd – Echoes: This epic speaks for itself.

7. Funkadelic – Maggot Brain – The last time the band would have all the pieces of the puzzle together this masterpiece shoots sonic laser beams right into your frontal lobe.

6. Fela Kuti – Expensive Shit: Fela is  just a powerful being and his power is manifested in this piece.

5. The Mars Volta – L’Via L’Viaquez: The Mars Volta used to do something no other bands were doing. Then they stopped for some reason. Thank goodness we still have remnants like this.

4. Creedence Clearwater Revival – I Heard It Through The Grapevine: I’m glad Fogerty decided to let his freak/soul flag fly for at least one track in his illustrious career.

3. John Coltrane – My Favorite Things: I was shocked/pumped to find out this tune (in its original format was over 10 minutes. Reason being I always get so caught up in the melody when I listen that time slips by.

2. The Doors – The End: It means something different every time you hear it. Also possibly the greatest song to play after breaking up with Jenny Bloomfield (Slut).

1. Maceo Parker – Shake Everything: I dare you to put this on and NOT start a party.

Top Ten

Top Ten Freds

No Comments 13 July 2012

Beautiful People,

Fred is a great name. Who doesn’t like a Fred eh? If you’re from New England (and of a certain age) you may even remember Fred the Baker and his ever meaningful mantra ‘time to make the donuts’.

Fred is a stately name. Its of Germanic descent and means “peaceful ruler”, derived from frid “peace” and ric “ruler, power”. This name has long been common in continental Germanic-speaking regions as well as with people that tend to sprout mustachios at a young age.

If you’ve ever felt yourself wanting to feel enthused about Freds but lacking inspiration…do yourself a favor and visit the Fred Society’s website.

But a good first place to start would be perusing The Shade’s Top 10 list of Freds.

10. Fred Armisen

9. Fred Flintstone

8. Fred Wesley

7. Fred Tuttle ( gotta check this out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Tuttle)

6. Fred Savage

5. Freddie Kruger

4. Fred Astaire

3. Fred Couples

2. Freddie Mercury

1. Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons To Sit Down

No Comments 20 April 2012

10. It may be the only way to control the visuals
9. You have been looking for your cat all day to no avail
8. You have reached the pinnacle
7. Its the only thing to do when your in the proverbial hot seat
6. Your hand cuffed and this ain’t your first rodeo.
5. You don’t stand in Lazy Boys
4. It is time to take a load off
3. You give up and are simply tired of hearing your wife yell at you for piss on the seat
2. You just learned that your Sister is your Mother and the whole town know except you
1. The Spins

Top Ten

Top Ten Ham Sandwich Pictures

No Comments 28 October 2011

Top Ten Ham Sandwich Pictures

#10 Pineapple and Ham Sandwich

#9 Grilled Ham Butter Pie

#8 The Pretty Ham

#7 Ham and EGGGGSSSS

#6 Jon Hamm with a Ham sandwich

#5 Deviled Ham

#4 Ham with an Egg on Top

#3 The Canadian Bacon

#2 Just Ham on a Bun

#1 The All American Ham Sandwich


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