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Shades of Gray

The Shade’s Top 10 Reasons To Get Disappointed

No Comments 11 January 2013

Enthusiasts,

A recent study released by the National Dept. of Just Throwing It Out There concludes that depressed people are much more interesting than wackos that are happy all the time. It makes sense. Happy people float through life like their neck is being perpetually tickled by a horde of kittens. While brooding stimulates critical thinking, incandescence and – ultimately – the ability to disarm people with a longing look.

The Shade wants to help YOU disarm people with a longing look. And everybody knows the best way to whip up a good depression is to have a succession of successful disappoints. So, we’ve bumped our heads together and came up with the Top 10 Reasons To Get Disappointed.

Struggling to get over it,

The Shade Management

10. Yellow lights – You ALWAYS almost just make it
9. Pat Sajak and Vanna White never getting together – Why didn’t those two kids ever get together? Their rapport is just so intoxicating. Watching their repartee makes me want to get a significant other just so I can hold hands in public.
8. A load of new white shirts turned pick in the wash – Its just money down the drain really…unless you’re FABULOUS!
7. No substitution menus – I want it my way, not yours. What the heck?!
6. Good looking people that bring nothing else to the table – We’re looking at you Steve Buscemi…pick it up!
5. The popularity and success of the Twilight series – While Kristen Stewart does her fair share of brooding I’d still like to see her banished from planet Earth.
4. Recently expired lunch meats when you’re hungry – Be careful here. Because sometimes you get tough. Sometimes you think…”It doesn’t smell THAT weird. I’ll be fine. What’s the worst that can happen”. 30 minutes later…you experience fury, remorse, pain and lots of staring at your bathroom wall vowing you’ll do better next time.
3. Birthdays – You’re older. You realize you haven’t reached your goals, your plans from when you were younger aren’t working out and probably never will. And, did I mention you’re older? Other than that birthday rock!
2. Congress – No explanation necessary
1. When the beatles thought they’d be better off individually instead of a group – (sigh)


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