Email I received:

What the heck was the Balkan conflict?

My response:

At a wine and dine event to save nesting sea turtles on the banks of the Adriatic Sea David Edward Balkan had hot soup spilled on his new slacks by longtime Soviet antagonist Kirshov Valdergard. When Mr. Balkan demanded an apology, $24.85 for the cleaning, and a new bowl of soup Kirshov responded, “The slacks aren’t even worth the amount of spilt soup nevermind the $24.85 for the cleaning.”

Once the crowd in the area started laughing uncontrollably it started a classic case of bunched panties for David. After about 9 years and a few deaths the area is still in a bit of political unrest.*

*Mr. Balkan ended up paying for his slacks and new soup.

Response email I received:

You are nuts.