Shades of Gray

Urges, Restraint and Solutions…

0 Comments 03 November 2013

From: Gil Forrester
Sent: Thursday, October 24, 2013 3:07 PM
To: Reigns Hagglemeyer
Subject: Basic Facilities Question

Hi Reigns,

Are there enough rest rooms in the building? As I say, kind of basic.

At 9:00 AM today (biologicial turning point of the coffee drinkerr’s morning perhaps?) I went to the 900 1st floor east further east MR, stalls full. Went to the one less far east, took a stall. I heard door the open, one man telling another, “full house here as well”. Analysis: at least two other men were walking around looking for a stall, and that wasn’t the first MR they tried.

Similar thing occurred perhaps 2 months ago. I made the rounds of this 1st floor East, including the lobby MR, then went to the 2nd floor where I checked the first and 2d MRs and found a spot.

Curious if this has been reported much, and what architects and consultants think. There must be industry formulas that involve a time factor. Obviously, larger facilities needed by auditoriums for example.

Thanks, Gil

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From: Reigns Hagglemeyer
Sent: Thursday, October 24, 2013 5:47 PM
To: Gil Forrester
Subject: RE: Basic Facilities Question

Gil,

For starters I’d like to say GREAT EXAMPLE, larger facilities needed by auditoriums is obvious. To answer the age old question, “Are there enough restrooms in the building?” the simple answer is yes…or no. I guess it’s really relative to the situation.

I’m not sure we need to delve deep into biology here but I think there is something that you need to know about. Similar to that of the synchronization of menstrual cycles to women in close proximity, Tufts Medical Center research out of Boston has recently published an article that coffee drinking men have a similar gene that rears its ugly head by inducing early to mid-morning craps among co-workers. To combat this there are a couple of different strategies you could employ.
First, try arriving 7 minutes early to work. This way, when Dan from finance is usually giving you those – the extra cream in his latte is going to cause an explosion of epic proportion eyes – you’ll already be trying to figure out today’s jumble long before he has a chance to suck down the morning’s belly bomb.

Another is, of course, to have some cheese with your morning coffee. A fair amount of cheese (or nature’s cork) could really bind you up enough that you may make it all the way to lunch without having peeled all of the paint off the bathroom walls.

If these dont’ seem feasible there is one other area to consider. You mentioned that you headed as far EAST as you could and then started moving back less EAST. Bad move. Sun Laboritories Inc. out of Tucson, AZ recently concluded a four year study in which they discovered the sun rises in the east. Who knew? What’s slightly more mind blowing is, in a symposium this past August to discuss their findings, SLI filled everyone in that the sun has such a strong gravitational pull, especially in the morning hours, that humans unknowingly travel EAST whenever the sun is out. Unlike the physical affliction of your stomach turning, the insatiable urge to head EAST can be combated mentally if you just take a page from the 1840s and do as the 49ers did – head WEST. If you head WEST you will most likely be all by yourself to enjoy the echoes of every grunt and groan you can muster in between Hagar and Family Circus (a personal fav).

In closing I would like to say that your persistence and tenacity when the moment strikes is something to be marveled at by the average man. As most of us would have been sent home early with an unwanted load in our pants you were able to find ‘a spot’ so…job well done.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention as we take every call with the greatest care and strive to provide the most accurate details.

Reigns

P.S.- I know this facility was build using standard industry formulas. It was my number the architect pulled from the consultant’s hat.

- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.


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