Shades of Gray

The Swiss Really Get It (for once)

0 Comments 19 November 2012


Our own Reins Hagglemeyer stormed out of a meeting last month mumbling something about finger sandwiches and a general distaste for anything that happened ‘inside’. We hadn’t heard from him until we received his report over the weekend on Switzerland’s Kindlifresserbrunnen. We’re thankful to have this amazing piece of art in our lives but we’re more thankful that Reins is still ‘alive and kickin’…as he likes to say.

Now, I think we’re all on the same page here when we say nobody REALLY likes children right? They’re a drain on society, never…ever have jobs and generally suck the fun out of any situation they’re involved in. Finally the Swiss, of all people, have built a very apt homage. Yes, the same Swiss that have been shorting us on cheese for years (but more on that and a full report from Uncle Oswald later).

The Kindlifresserbrunnen (German for Child Eater Fountain), is located in Bern, Switzerland.  The beautiful relic depicts an ogre devouring a naked child and holding a bag of other terrified children in the same manner one would approach a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on a Sunday afternoon. It was built in 1544 as a replacement for a wooden well by Hans Gieng who created most of the public fountains of Bern that were erected during the Renaissance.

Rein’s cracker jack report went on to say:

“Its unclear if there was ever an actual ogre that ate children here but I sniffed the statues mouth and it smelled like metal, not dead babies.

Outstanding! If any of our readers find a replica of the Kindlifresserbrunnen please notify us immediately. We’re currently looking for a mascot for ‘Family Day’ here at The Shade HQ.

Congrats to Rein for still be alive and, if you read this, Norm would like for you to send his Irish knit sweater back.


- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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