Shades of Gray

Mr. Miserable’s Friday Blast Off!

0 Comments 24 August 2012


Lets start with good news. This week the BBC reported on a study that proved people were just as miserable on Mondays than they were on all the other days of the week (save Friday). So, it seems like my life’s work is really taking hold. Next stop….ruining your weekend!

Now, lets get on with it eh?There’s a few thing that chafed my buttcheeks this week:

#1 – Who the hell is this goddam woman that wants to swim from Florida to Cuba? This woman is turning 63 this week AND she’s tried this 3 times before (and failed). Get a grip lady, you’re a senior citizen…act accordingly. Any reasonable human knows that feats of physical strength don’t get easier with age. And a wise man once said – if you can’t win just quit. So, stop costing tax payers and start buying some semi sweet chocolate to bake cookies for the kiddies.

This woman attempted something impossible and used up a massive amount of resources while some other people in legitimately dangerous positions could have died? Oh yea, and you DIDN’T do it. Nice job – America is proud.

#2 – And speaking of old people being worthless…did you read about this story from Spain? Some looney old lady decided to ‘fix up’ an old mural in her church by painting over an old work of art. Doris, this isn’t arts and crafts night at Michaels. The old bat literally just started painting over a masterpiece. The church has brought in some restoration specialists but they’re not optimistic. Attention old people – you’ve lived your life. Stay home and out of our hair.

Moving on.

#3 – Homeless people in Boston sum up America’s problem.

Lets get some context shall we? I used to walk by a heady and well-spoken homeless man that bared a striking resemblance to Mark Twain every day. I found him charming because he waxed poetic about not having any good excuse for asking for money but he was being honest in his pitch.

At first I found the charm of the new approach alluring I’d rather crumple up dollar bills and throw them at my cat before giving to the needy). But, after the 5th time hearing it, it started feeling very similar to watching a show for the 50th time in syndication and not laughing at the parts you once laughed at. At the 100th time hearing it I was disappointed in America.

Not only has our economy become so complacent with making money by producing nothing, but our homeless people feel the same! I don’t know which is more entitled and, ergo, disappointing.

It used to be that if you wanted a good indication of a society’s values you should take a look at their penal system – in essence how does a society treat its most troubled and dangerous members. Nowadays I feel like our homeless population (at least in Boston) sums up our national issues more accurately, which is ‘Give me something for nothing so i can sit around and do more nothing’. Great job guys, keep it up


Mr. Miserable


- who has written 8 posts on The Shade.

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