Shades of Gray

Mr. Miserable’s Friday Blast Off

0 Comments 13 July 2012

Ok ok,

I hope you’re all having a ‘great time’ this summer.

Its hot as hell, I can barely breathe and evidently Americans have a third-world mentality when it comes to body odor. Normally I wouldn’t care because I don’t want to come within 10 feet of you or your loved ones. But as I depend on public transportation every day I’m forced to mingle.

Other than the heat there’s three other points that are chapping my buttcheeks this week.

#1 – This whole Daniel Tosh debacle. Ok, if you’re enough of a fan of Tosh to go to his live performance a rape joke completely surprises you? This is the same guy that showed the bursting of an elephants inner digestive track on his show right? Get a grip. If you don’t like his humor, thats cool. Its America….don’t pay to go see him or contribute to his viewers by watching his show. As Patton Oswalt so astutely pointed out a comedian’s act is just that – an act. Would you get mad at Brad Pitt if he really nailed a role where he was playing a rapist? (and he would kill it)

#2 – The Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce. I’ll be honest, when this thing broke I was psyched (and that happens 1-2 times a year). I thought Scientologists would be descending onto the streets in flying carpets to steal the souls of the true heathens. Sadly, they’ve been largely mum. Poor form. What I don’t want to see is major news outlets shoving pictures of Katie Holmes and her rat kid enjoying the zoo in my face.

#3 – Rubberneckers. I’m sure most of you are doing a good amount of driving this summer right? We’re all broke and can’t fly anywhere so its our only option. You’ve no doubt found yourself setting in mind-numbing traffic for hours just to eventually find out the cause of  your frustration is a fender bender. This is potentially reason #1 why I hate people. Rubbernecking is a disgusting and disappointing indictment on human nature and you should all be ashamed. If you would just listen to Harry Belafonte on long rides you wouldn’t be concerned with anything that happens outside the car because the rhythm inside the car would be too dense and all consuming.

Anyways, I hear West Nile is back in town. So perhaps things are looking up?

I would hate you so much more if I actually cared.

Mr. Miserable

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