Shades of Gray

The Female Allure Explored (Part I) – Reader Submission

0 Comments 26 June 2012

I’ve been tracing my own failures and those of the men surrounding me, and the one common consensus is that the downfall of most men begins with their first sniff of snatch.  And to be politically correct in these hypersensitive times, it must be the same with dick for queers, but someone else can write that story.

I’m here to talk about pussy.  Stop and think for a moment about the first time your smelled, tasted, or touched twat.  [If you are already reading you didn’t stop to think long enough] Now think about how instantly every move in your life became about one ultimate goal: eating that pink taco or that juicy ham flap, hunting for moose knuckle, fishing for bearded clam.  For some of you that was easy, and you my friends are the most often fucked and the most fucked up.  For others, cashing in on that ham wallet took time, patience, and failure.  And it’s a man’s pattern of fuck hole failure that defines his very essence.  Think about that, and then go get fucked.

They look like axe wounds and can smell like yesterday’s scrap bucket at Pike Place market, but yet we are drawn to them.  Magnetized by the muff, there is no knowing what whispering eye we might go after.  Today’s porn is testament:  just type pussy into a google search and you’ll find young ya-ya’s, pregnant punani, and old muddled meatlockers.  It seems we can not get enough in any shape or form or vintage for that matter.  And as long as the bald man in the boat isn’t bigger than our dicks we are up for a swim.  There has to be more to this than just a ticket behind the meat curtains.  I’m gonna go gap the gash and let you know.  Think about that, and then go get fucked.

So, I’m sick of writing about pussy – the more I think about it, the more I want it, and too many hours of my life are already directed at this misadventure.  See, the way I see it, the male brain is designed for two things: (1)  To hit every hoo-ha you can come into sniffing distance of because this is all about science, and he who spreads his seed wins the race to nowhere.  (2)  To become bound to the one beaver that will bear your children.  This dichotomy is devastating;  it is the ultimate and most unresolvable dilemma within the human condition.  Think about that, and then go get fucked.

- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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