Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons To Stay In Bed

0 Comments 13 April 2012

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Life hurts. Period. Its tough trying to squeeze some semblance of enjoyment into the waning hours of the post work day. Weekends can be overwhelming with the utter shit we have to do that somehow manages to take up the only truly free time we have. In short, we need to rediscover the freedom of open weekdays if we want any hope of connecting with our intrinsic intellectual curiosity. That said, we’re people people here at The Shade and want to give back however we can so we want to provide a list of fully vetted excuses to help you turn over and flip off your alarm clock and take some time to discover YOU.

Besides, no one else likes you so you might as well!

The Top 10 Reasons To Stay In Bed

10. You can’t get your bones to warm up and you fear pneumonia

9. Depression can be fun if you embrace it

8. You’re dreaming of being awake.

7. You had a dream about a cat in a tuxedo singing Frank Sinatra tunes and are desperately trying to fall asleep to start it over.

6. Lingering case of the Mondays on a Thursday

5. Coitus in the morning sunlight

4. Passionate desire to find your exact sleep number

3. Your ceiling exceeds the company of your acquaintances.

2. Band of Brothers marathon is on and you’re a great American

1. The judge isn’t going to say anything you want to hear.

- who has written 511 posts on The Shade.


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