Dear Norman,

I feel that my neighbors constantly neglect their dog. On many days when its raining I see the dog outside for long periods of time. It also has a clear self esteem issues. If the owners can’t see this they need to have this pointed out or even worse if they see it and refuse to act they don’t deserve a pet. What’s my play here?

Worried in Wisconsin

Dear Worried,

Rest assured, this is an easy one. Next time you see the dog outside for an extended period of time you call and order a pizza to your neighbors address. When the pizza arrives you sneak around the back and grab the dog. This way, you save the dog and cost your neighbor the pizza….win/win! Thanks for writing.