The Written Word, Analyzing Albert

Analyzing Albert – The Final Movement

0 Comments 05 October 2011


That night I slept with the windows wide open so the smell of the bread baking from the café would awaken me. For once, I was ready for the sun when it started shining and I started shining right back. I showered and dressed as soon as possible. Often times grey suit girl only came in for a coffee to go and I didn’t want her to miss me. When I walked through the door I felt like a virgin. When the girl behind the counter gave me my coffee she looked beautiful. Almost angelic. I took my coffee and grabbed a paper and retreated to the corner seat perfectly positioning myself with a view of the entire place.

All the usual characters came in, but they didn’t have the same piss yellow hue. There was something inherently different about them. The man in his too-tight brown pants didn’t remind me of shit. The brown seemed to resemble a deep colored chocolate reminiscent of a Hershey Bar. And I think he might have even lost some weight. I guess things were on the up and up for everybody.

While I sat there and waited an odd looking man came in. I didn’t recognize him and was fairly certain he had never come to the café. At least not on my watch. He was dressed ridiculously in jeans, sandals and a Hawaiian shirt. He sat down and ordered breakfast. The absence of grey suit girl started to concern me as 15 minutes turned into a half hour and a half hour into forty five minutes. Then I realized I had never come to the café this early before and by all estimations she was going to be right on time.

As I sat pretending to read the paper scanning the place to see how everyone reacted to my new look I caught the strange looking man staring at me a few times. At first I was nervous but he must have been admiring my new look. After all, I was stunning.

The chimes rang out and the door swung open and the heavenly breath of the lord blew my angel through the door. Grey suit girl was in my sights. She pretended to look around as she made her way to the counter but after a few steps she turned in my direction and gave me a smile that made my heart skip and beat and my palms sweaty. She was breath-taking. I couldn’t look away as she stood at the counter and all I could hear was “oooooh Don-na, ohhhhh Don-na”. I knew when she next turned around she would walk towards me and that would be the beginning of the rest of our lives together.

Just at that moment the record skipped and a wretched, almost satanic voice crept into my consciousness.

“ Where did you get that suit?”

I looked up and it was that absurd-looking man. Wow, I wanted to smack this insolent bastard for his rudeness. The audacity of him impeding on the moment that was going to change the rest of my life. I turned to him and said.

“If you would please step away sir, I’m expecting someone”

“No, I recognize you. You’re the fat bastard that fell on me at the airport yesterday. How could I forget? I ended up having to take those two women and that kid to the emergency room in my rental car.” He quipped.

“I’m sorry sir, but you must have the wrong person”. As I said this I could see grey suit girl getting her coffee and about to pay.

“Well may be” he replied. “But I doubt that it’s a coincidence that you showed up at the airport yesterday when I didn’t notice you on our flight. Now my suitcase is missing and you’re wearing what looks exactly like my clothes. So do me this favor. Look inside the inside left breast and see if you see the initials JWD on the inside pocket.”

I realized at that moment the smell of this man’s aftershave matched the kisses that greeted me yesterday afternoon when I flipped open that suitcase of treasures. I looked up and grey suit girl was paying. I couldn’t let her see me embarrassed like this. Especially not today. I fumbled to get up and pushed the man out of my way and made for the door. I could hear the man shouting ‘Stop!’ as I burst through the door. I looked back to see if he was gaining on me…

The brakes screeched out like a wild banshee.  The body was flung 15 feet up in the air and at least 30 feet up the road. Everyone rushed out of the café. The owner called the police and within minutes the ambulance was there scraping the remains off the street like a pancake being flipped to early.

There was no call to loved ones, no letters home or to work, just a new delivery to the morgue and a hell of a lot of people that got their luggage back.


- who has written 512 posts on The Shade.

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